Already Gone
by prsweetie
Summary: We split the blame for the parts that we couldn't change. Pictures, dishes and socks,it's our whole life down to one box. JeffOC


_This one-shot is loosely based on the Already Gone by Sugarland. It's my new favorite. I hope you enjoy._

* * *

I put the final box in the car as I let out a shaky sigh. Walking slowly back to the house, I needed to make sure that I had everything before I left. Call me a coward, but I needed to be on the road before he came back home because I swear to God, if he looks at me, I know I won't have the courage to leave.

_My Mama mapped out the road that she knows  
Which hands you shake and which hands you hold  
In m hand-me-down Mercury, ready to roll  
She knew that I had to go  
And hangout, make lots of noise_

_And lay out, lay with a boy  
Make the mistakes that she made 'cause she knew all along_

_I was already gone  
I was already gone  
I was already gone  
Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on  
_

This wasn't supposed to be my life. I know its sounds cliché and corny but it's true. I left home at 18 for a life filled with adventure and experience. My Mama begged me not to leave. She said that the world was not a safe place to venture out alone in but she couldn't stop me. I needed to be out on my own.

It wasn't like I had a bad childhood or anything. My parents gave me everything I could want and taught me the importance of hard work and dedication. I just didn't want to be stuck in that one-horse town for the rest of my life. I couldn't imagine getting married to some guy that worked at the local mill and popping out four kids while pretending to not know that my husband is at the local saloon with his head buried in some other woman's chest. I couldn't become my Mama.

When I jumped into the old Mercury that my Daddy bought me, I didn't know where I was going or what I would do. That was the problem with my plan to spread my wings, it wasn't very well thought out.

I ended up in Moore County, North Carolina working at a 24 hour diner out on the highway. I preferred to work the night shift because it was a lot more calm allowing me to do homework for the online classes I was taken at the local community college. Besides the truck drivers and random celebrities that breezed through the diner were great tippers. That was how I met him.

I had been working late one night when four men walked in the diner and took a seat. I piled my dark hair up on my head and sighed. I was halfway through a research paper and didn't really need any interruptions. I plastered on my best smile and walked towards the table.

They certainly didn't look like any men I had ever seen before. They were filled with crazy outfits, wild hair and numerous tattoos. They were all cute in their own way but when the one with the dark hair and blue tips looked up at me, his green eyes seemed to burn through my soul. I felt light headed and had to grip on the handle of the booth in order to stand up straight.

He seemed to smile at me with his eyes and I knew from that moment on I would be hooked. It was an instant high and I wanted to feel that way forever. I was an addict and his green eyes were my drug of choice.

_They say the first time won't ever last  
But that didn't stop me. the first time he laughed  
All my friends tried to warn me the day that we met  
"Girl, don't you lost your heart yet"  
But his dark eyes dared me with danger  
And sparks fly like flame to a paper  
Fire in his touch burning me up, but still I held on_

_I was already gone  
I was already gone  
I was already gone  
Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on_

I was eighteen then. Now four years later, I'm wondering what the hell happened. I quickly began a passionate affair with the man behind those green eyes. One that no one had really approved of, but it didn't stop me. I had to be with him and I was. For four years, I stood by during all the good times and the bad and Lord knows there were some bad times.

He was a wrestler of some sort who spent most of his life on the road. He was simply the most intriguing man that I had ever met. He was artistic, eccentric, articulate, and gorgeous. He was a man with so much talent that I sometimes felt worthless around him.

He could paint, wrestle, write beautiful poetry and build the most incredible things. They say that the geniuses of this world are also the most tortured. That is what happened with him.

It started slowly, but soon I couldn't hide the fact that he had changed. He was pulling away from me and though I tried desperately to hold on, I knew that it was over. I could no longer help him, not in the way that he needed. I also couldn't deny the fact that the drugs and alcohol were becoming his new passion, leaving no room for me.

We both knew the day was going to come. I had finished school and needed to move forward with my life. Too many nights crying and pleading with him had taken its toll on my soul. I needed him to give me a reason to stay but he couldn't. I knew it was time, I had to go.

_The last time I saw him, we packed up my things  
And he smiled like the first time he told me his name  
And we cried with each other  
We split the blame for the parts  
that we couldn't change  
Pictures, dishes and socks  
It's our whole life down to one box  
There he was waving goodbye on the  
front porch alone_

_But I was already gone  
I was already gone  
I was already gone  
I was already gone  
I was already gone_

We held each other for a long time as I allowed myself to breath in his scent one last time. He helped me pack the little bit of things that I was taken with me. He told me that he couldn't watch me leave so he went to his brother's across the street. I cried helplessly as I gathered my stuff. I placed the ring that occupied my left hand gently on the coffee table on my way out.

I took a deep breath before getting back in that old run-down Mercury. Starting the ignition, I again had no clue where I was going or what I would do. I tried to not look in the rear view mirror as I pulled off but my eyes stayed connected to his as he waved from his brother's lawn.

I know in my heart that I will always love Jeff Hardy but I couldn't stay. I prayed silently that he would find the happiness that he needed, even if I couldn't be there to share it with him.

_Hangout, make lots of noise  
And layout late with a boy  
Make the mistakes that she made,  
life is a runaway train_


End file.
